Episodenrückblick: The Great Hoaxes of Columbus (2023)

Grown men were repeatedly playing with toy soldiers when Columbo returned to screens on May 1, 1989 for the Season 8 finale.

After what has clearly been an overwhelming return season, could the series, which sees the lieutenant take on a corrupt, adulterous, murderous former army colonel, give the series a much-needed boost? Or is he a failure who really needs to be put out of his misery in a human way?

We're driving, folks, and we're waitingbig liescan buck the trend and be the first of its kind: a new oneDoveAdventure that stands proudly alongside the best efforts of the '70s. Let's see…

characters

Leutnant Columbo: Peter Falk
Coronel Frank Writing for the Blind: Robert Foxworth
General Jack Padget: Stephen Elliot
Jenny Padget: Janet Eiber
Sargento Major Keegan: Andy Romano
Maria: Lynn Clark
dancer: Michael McManus
puppy: like the same
Written by: Sy Salkowitz
Directed by: Sam Wanamaker
mark by: Juan Cacavas

Episode Summary:Colombo's Big Lies

Colonel Frank Brailie not only runs a military camp that enables dangerously insane civilians to become mercenaries, but also funnels money from a philanthropic foundation to fund illegal arms deals in war zones around the world to line his own pockets. .

And if that's not cowardly enough for you, Brailie is also having an affair with Jenny Padget, wife of the foundation's owner and founder, revered war hero General Jack Padget. Yes folks, Brailie is a bad man, very bad.

However, his evil ways seem threatened when Sergeant Major Lester Keegan, a longtime subordinate, threatens to rain down on his parade. It turns out that General Padget has suspicions about Brailie's behavior and has asked Keegan to investigate. With the help of his friends at the Pentagon, the changeling sergeant knows all about Brailie's shady dealings and has also found out about his love affair with the general's wife.

What is clear is that Keegan will not extradite his superior as long as he receives a share of the illegally obtained loot. Brailie agrees and asks for a few days to get her affairs in order. In fact, it's the trigger you need to start a assassination plan.

There is dinner at the General's house that evening to celebrate his birthday. The goal is to unveil a collection of rare war books and a detailed diorama of a Civil War battle for the mad old man, courtesy of the "lovely" Mrs. Jenny. He has hired Brailie to organize the tin soldiers and fill the bookshelf, and the wily Colonel plans to use this to kill.

He manipulated it to make it appear as if only the book shipment had arrived while the tin soldiers are still pending. Actually the soldiersTerwere delivered and Brailie put them in a labeled boxBOOKS. She then meticulously arranged them into a diorama in the General's pool house while pretending to be sad that they were still missing.

To create an alibi, Brailie put all the military books in a box with the wordsMILITARY MINIATURESMaking people think the toys just arrived. He asks the General's party guests to stay away from the pool house while he sets up the battle scene, and after tidying up the bookshelf in minutes he can sneak into the military training ground to open one.Dose Whip-AssAbout Sergeant Keegan.

See, tonight is also the final test for the last few wannabe mercenaries who have three hours to get back to base through the woods at night. There are a number of explosive charges along the route that Keegan is responsible for storing to keep the mercenaries on their toes, and Brailie plans to use one of them.

dress up like oneNinjas, Brailie sneaks up on Keegan in the woods and pierces his blackmailing heart with a knife. He then drags the corpse by the arms to one of the explosive charges and leaves it there, chest down, where it is ripped to pieces.

Eventually he uses Keegan's quarters to remove hisNinjasdress up and reveal a full military uniform underneath. HeNinjasThe suit is thrown away and our man is back at the general's pool house just in time to unveil the battlefield model to many "ooohs" and "aaaahs" to an enthusiastic crowd. Simultaneously, demolition charges detonate in the forest, slaughtering the remains of Sergeant Major Keegan.Boo-reddish-hoo.

It looks like a clean win for Brailie, but he's unlucky, Lt. Facing Columbo, the Star Investigative Officer. Although Keegan's mutilated body has no visible traces of the knife wound, Columbo does not automatically believe in the idea of ​​the "tragic accident". For one thing, he immediately sees leaves and mud under Keegan's neck. Could he have been incapacitated elsewhere and dragged to the scene of his death?

He also soon gives her her first reason to suspect Brailie. The Colonel takes a quick look around Keegan's quarters and notices a wet patch of mud on the floor. Did you leave it there the night before? To be sure, he bends down to clean it up, only for Columbo to come in and see him. Although Brailie plausibly suggests that he did this to honor the memory of the clean lunatic Keegan, it is an action the Lieutenant will remember.

Columbus searches Keegan's notebook and discovers that the dead man clipped "Helpers Wanted" ads from a local newspaper each day. Apparently he was looking for a new job even though the last ad he saved was from "last Monday". What could that mean? What changed in your life this Monday to end your job search? But Brailie offers no help to the confused detective.

He gives an indication of how dirt and tree branches got trapped under Keegan's neck, but simply (and reasonably) suggests that the explosion would have been the cause, based on his own battlefield experience. It's a difficult argument to disagree with.

Subpoenaed by General Padget, Columbo soon uncovers some additional clues. As he inspects Padget's new collection of war books, he finds a toy soldier hiding behind it. How could it have ended up there when the books were exposed to the soldiers?

However, the general has much more interesting news to share when he reveals he asked Keegan to investigate Brailie's "Special Projects Fund," which has siphoned millions of dollars from the foundation. This conversation took place six days ago, the same day Keegan gave up looking for a new job.

Padget also explains that it took Brailie several weeks and multiple applications to complete and submit aconfidential reportthrough the Special Projects Fund. That slurred response was very different from Brailie, and there's nothing that piques Columbo's curiosity as someone not acting in the usual way.

Shortly after, the lieutenant had a stroke of luck when Keegan's laundry returned to his quarters. Among the items removed from clothing pockets before cleaning was a piece of paper with the name on itL. Dunstanand a home address written on it. Columbus has a duty to investigate.

It turns out that the apartment is owned byyou guessed, Colonel Brailie. And thesecret love nestwhere he is dealing with his secret affair with Jenny Padget, and she is on her way to meet him when Columbo arrives and starts asking questions.

Eager to see who Brailie wants to meet, Columbo stays longer than expected and refuses to accept the suggestion that he should hit him. He even uses the bathroom to rummage through, find, and put away the medicine cabinettravel toothbrushincluded. There is no doubt that it belongs to the Colonel's mysterious lover.

The detective even drops his own bombshell on Brailie, informing him that an autopsy found a knife wound on Keegan's heart.the man was killed. How about a libido-busting surprise, Colonel?

Jennyhe doesThey arrive during this lengthy interview, but after spotting the old pile of Columbo parked in front of the apartment, she steps on the gas before she can be recognized. However, she receives a visit at the lieutenant's house that same evening, and he is in the mood for a showdown.

Columbo pulls out this travel toothbrush and explains that he cleaned it of fingerprints and theirs are all over it. He can't deny the affair, but claims he doesn't know anything about the Special Projects Fund, which Columbo takes at his word. He also agrees not to let the General know that Jenny averydirty girl

Instead of,the now contrite adulteressit will clean by itself. She reveals the affair, but that's okay, General, because she says she could never care for the mystery man the way she cares for him. Padget takes the slap nobly, demanding only that he never reveal the secret lover's identity.

While attending Keegan's funeral, Columbo was fortunate enough to meet one of the Pentagon sergeant major's friends, who told the detective that he had spoken to Keegan the morning of his death. He doesn't explain on screen what the conversation was about, but it's a safe bet it had to do with the special projects report because Columbo goes to the foundation to investigate further.

With a dexterity rarely displayed that would impress even the Great Santini, he extracts an earlier version of the confidential report from Brailie's dimwitted secretary, Marcia, and disappears into thin air, and what he finds will cause the case to fall through the cracks. . like Keegan's chest cavity!

Columbo, of course, turns the incriminating document over to General Padget. The report details how Padget's foundation has funded the illegal arms trade around the world, and to say the army veteran is disgusted is an understatement. He calls brailie'thief bastard' in his face and promises that he will see the evil Colonel behind bars.

Brailie shows nerves of ice under fire and responds. If Padget blows his cover, Brailie will reveal the juicy details about his illicit relationship with Jenny. It is the general who gives in. He returns his copy of the report but mentions that Columbo's copy is on his desk in the pool house.

Although not shown, we can assume soBrailie happily jumps to get the report.with a sparkle in my heart and a song on my lips. But his good mood won't last because Columbo is lurking in the pool house and he's here to make an arrest.

He found out that Keegan was trying to blackmail Brailie, so there's a strong motive for the murder. But can he break Brailie's alibi for setting up the intricate battlefield diorama while the assassination was taking place? Well actually you can, through your glaremathematics(NOmathematics, American readers) skillz.

You know the books didn't come in the marked boxBOOKS– because its cubic dimensions are not large enough to accommodate them all. Instead they were delivered later in theMILITARY MINIATURESCrate. Brailie put the tin soldiers in the book box and took a long time to organize them on the morning of the crime.

His alibi is therefore not worth stooping to because it would only take him five minutes to put the books on the shelf that night and nearly two hours to kill Keegan and return undetected.

Faced with such irrefutable evidence, Brailie has no choice but to admit defeat. Columbo reads the Colonel's rights as the camera pans across the battlefield diorama, finally stopping on afamiliar looking miniature in a scruffy beige raincoatWhen the credits roll...

my memories ofbig lies

Can't say when I first saw this (probably on TV in the 90's if I had to guess) butbig liesIt is without a doubt one of my least watchedDoveThe episode

Having not watched it in almost a decade, my fuzzy memories focus more on the central antagonist Frank Brailie's lack of charisma and how disappointing this adventure was despite the military background. In fact, it would be hard to name an episode I remember being as boring as this one.

Other than that, my mind was a blank canvas. He couldn't recall any of the supporting characters, let alone having had an emotional connection to them, nor could he recall the motive for the murder. On the plus side, I can't recall any memories of any silly or flashy scenes that have ruined the recurring series so far, so maybe this is better than I remember? Wouldn't that be an advantage?

my opinionbig lies

Like the good lieutenant, I'm in the habit of beating around the bush a bit before passing judgment. However, I will not waste my time or yours by keeping you waiting here:big liesIt's terribly boring TV and a depressing sight.DoveLover.

Seeing this leaves me with two burning questions. First, what happened to the show's ambitions? And secondly, was that the kind of tedium Peter Falk had in mind when he agreed to revive the good lieutenant? Hehave toI expected better.

when i lookDoveI want to be drawn into the relationship between the detective and a known assassin and the ruse of murder. I want to take care of secondary characters and subplots; and let yourself be enchanted by the landscape and the score. I really want Columbo to catch the culprit with an emotional final revelation, and I want everything to be funny without being condescending or stupid.

There's a lot to expect from all of those boxes being ticked in a single episode, but we can usually expect several of the key elements to come together to enhance the viewer's experience.big liesoffers none of that.

We can also start at the top and look at the cast, which is clearly disappointing. I'm not saying they don't have talent, but there's no box office hit here. Aside from Falk, the cast list at the time could be that of any standard TV show. It's a real downfall from its 1970s heyday, when viewers could expect to see silver icons in every episode, even in relatively small roles.

“Frank Brailie is perhaps the least interestingDovekiller of everyone.

I have nothing against Robert Foxworth (whom I remember from two episodes ofStar Trek DS9), but its Colonel Frank Brailie is one of the show's least charismatic and unforgettable villains. It's sad to see him and there's no spark between him and the lieutenant.

I like that there is some kind of needle between the two leads or that they have some kind of common ground on which to build a relationship. Viewers always appreciate the confrontation between Columbo and the likes of Bart Keppell, Adrian Carsini, Ken Franklin, Milo Janus and Abigail Mitchell because there's something to hold on to.everyExchange between detective and suspect.

Colonel Brailie gives usanythinggetting nervous. Yes, he's a mean guy who only cares about himself, but he doesn't get any emotional response. In fact, it might be the least interesting.Dovekiller of everyone.

And despite Columbo's claim that the two men "don't like each other" during the soporific finale, we don't get the joy we previously had from the antagonistic matchups against Barry Mayfields, Paul Gerards and Mark. necklaces of the world. Brailie is so insignificant that there is no satisfaction in seeing it down.

As for the rest of the characters, with the possible exception of General Padget, I couldn't care less. Sergeant Major Keegan is a blackmailer who deserves his compensation, while Jenny Padget is the worst kind of TV woman, the one who sinfully converses behind her husband's back, but of course.he is deeply sorrywhen the truth comes out

When we discover that she and the Colonel aren't planning anything together, the nature of their relationship quickly becomes apparent. "You know I don't love you," shewhisper nakedBraille between silk sheets. "What I love is being here with you, like here.Does that make me a bad woman??”

Before the Colonel can reply, I will intervene.IF YOU DO MAKES YOU A BAD WOMAN. And I'm not buying your backwoods once the secret is out. You knew what you were doing and you deserve a good divorce for it! Even his birthday present to the general was a cruel joke, because the wheelchair bogeyman can't even cross half of the battlefield model! I like to think that Padget kicked her out immediately after the episode ended, but I suspect the kindhearted veteran chose to forgive and forget.

Speaking of which, General Padget at least feels like a character with some depth and vulnerability, and not just because he's in a wheelchair. It's a fine performance by Stephen Elliott, who I just noticed in this preview is doing his secondDoveGuest appearance after playing obnoxious women's thug Karl Donner in 1975A deadly mental state. Both times his wife had an affair, an unhappy boy.

your twoDovethe performances are polar opposites, so I have to give Elliott some credit. Your Padget is the closest thing to a character to tend to, though given the lack of others to tend to in this lukewarm adventure, it's perhaps doomed to mild praise.

This gives Falk more responsibility than usual for collecting cases, and I'm happy to report that he's quite good at it. He's toned down the theatrics as the season has progressed, and here he seems to regain momentum, playing the character less as a pastiche and more as a natural extension of where an older Columbo should be.

He's never ridiculous on this one and is quite direct by his standards, especially when he's forcing Jenny to admit their love affair, his stealing the confidential report, and at the end of the episode when he beats Brailie with a mathematical fact in succession.

There isn't the usual fawning over the prime suspect, and Columbo quickly develops a strong, trusting relationship with Padget, who values ​​his knowledge of the Civil War and trusts his deductive skills. It's another good example of how thatrealColumbo can easily be associated with the prince or the beggar as long as he is not suspicious.

However, there are signs that the sweetness is settling into the character's heart, and that worries me a little. The lieutenant was always kind, but never soft. Remember how he told Abigail Mitchell not to count him as a good mantry to catch me– simply one of the greatestDovemoments

here we see itsmiles at the dogand babbles about how much he loves the rascal. It may not be a major sin, but it's a more tender version of the relationship between humans and animals than it was in the 1970s. At that time, the love story between the two seemed more charming and real for that very reasonit was notfrankly loving Another beautiful delicacy gone west.

Still, that's a very small complaint and this is arguably Falk's strongest individual performance of the comeback season.If only the episode wasn't so miserably boring!As a matter of fact,big liesIt's about as boring to watch as it would be to actually sit and watch a war enthusiast celebratoryly play with toy soldiers for 90 minutes.

As seems to be the norm for the series now, the episode unfolds painfully slowly and with so much emphasis on onecorporate report, ABattlefield Dioramait's himDisplacement of packaging boxes, there is literally nothing to get excited about.

This is especially true for the day scene. As damning as it is to have Columbo laboriously explain the math that shows how the size of the boxes destroys Brailie's alibi is a whole new level of tedium. I've found many fans who didn't understand the ending at all, although I don't think it's because it's complicated, it's so uninteresting that they tuned out. The ending is as flat as anything before it.

„big liesIt's about as boring to watch as it would be to sit back and watch a war enthusiast solemnly play with toy soldiers for 90 minutes.

There are some attempts to infuse a little fun into the process, and while they're not as crippling as some of the ghastly fillers that ruined itSex and the Married DetectivejMurder, smoke and shadows, the humor still doesn't hit the mark, too bad because this is an episode that was in dire need of some hilarity.

Trying to see Columbo interviewing a selection of would-be mercenaries about their boot camp experiences. They're all wacky clichés that offer nothing relevant to the plot while eliciting the kind of stunned expressions on Falk's faces that should be accompanied'sad trombone' sound effects.

There's also a somber scene in the chapel during Keegan's funeral where Columbo and the Pentagon "ace" Tanzer mingle and talk for a whopping 4 minutes. To quote Adrian Carsini: “Its scary...“. Still, it's tastier than Columbo playing a damn tuba, so that's progress, right?

I can not allowColumbus-model-on-the-battlefieldNonsense that is also not mentioned. Despite toning the problemwaaaaaaayAt least compared to the three previous appearances in Season 8, they couldn't resist the urge to add a cheesy finishing touch, could they?this stupid model! Yes, I'd love to have it, but it has no place in a serious crime drama and is another example of the questionable production choices that are made.

To make matters worse, I cannot even console myself with the quality of the score, which I honestly consider to be the worst ever.Doveseries to date. Composer John Cacavas is undoubtedly a man of great skill, having created scores for film and television (including 12 episodes ofDame Colombo), but I don't think your efforts hit the mark hereat all.

“Honestly, I think the scorebig liesit's the worstDoveSaga to this day.”

Cacavas also scoredColumbus goes to the guillotineand fell into the same trap of making the music too light and happy and thereforeI totally disagree with the mood of the episode. It's predictably military themed, but a cheesy, lighthearted approach that's instantly annoying and never improves.

with my angerso oldwas also included in the score three times, completely switching from what was once a pretty ditty that Columbo hummed to himself to what is now essentially (and unfunny) the character's official theme song. The crowning 'Glory' is the accordion-tinged closing melody that would be more appropriate for French farce or a night at the circus. It is a suprise! See for yourself…

The only aspects of this episode that I like that are uncharacteristic of the series are the violent murder and the first incidentswear wordsbe used.

Murder is action-packed and shows that Colonel Brailie, a fanatical ninja, is still a villain, albeit now more of a paper manipulator. The curse when Padget Brailie than 'thief bastard' is a bit of a surprise given the series' traditionally bland script, but it's certainly justified and doesn't feel like it was released for free. A good move.

Apart from that there is actually nothing special.big liesIt's a completely forgotten, hackneyed story that does nothing to improve the reputation of one of TV's brightest stars. Either way, it shows how far standards have fallen.

„big liesIt's the worst part of a comeback season that has had its moments but has often been let down.

Eman interviewIn early 1989, series creator and executive producer William Link was enthusiastic about ongoing efforts to ensure thisDoveSecrets Left at the Forefront of Television, Assuring Readers "We Are Advocates of the Best of Things."

Unfortunately for the viewersbig liesit's far from the best stuff. It's the worst component of a comeback season that has had its moments but has often been let down. if that's for the bestDoveThe creative team may think the question needs to be asked: was it worth raising the lieutenant out of retirement?

did you know

big liesis one of the few episodes that supports the premise that Columbo's first name is Frank. If you look closely at the evidence bag, it shows Colonel Brailie (about 43 minutes into the episode): "Leutnant Frank Colomboone can almost say.

This derives from the name Frank (or Franck), which also appears on the Columbo Police nameplate in the 1970s episodes.own weightja question of honour. Still, Peter Falk, Dick Levinson, and William Link have always stipulated that the Lieutenant's name is unknown, so it's up to you to accept it as canon or not.

Read more about Colombo's first name here.

how do i rate them

If an episode is like thisBOOT, BOOT, BOOTYou can bet he won't worry about the top of the leaderboard and he's proving itbig liesfalls at the foot of the starting positions. While I'm not directly comparing the new episodes to the classic era at this point,big lieswould be presentList of- very down with people likespirit daggerand equally uninspiringold-fashioned murder.

It's even more disappointing when you consider that the episode's director, Sam Wanamaker, also directed my favorite movie.DoveSalida -The Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case1977. How the mighty fell.

Did you miss any of my previous season 8 episode reviews? Then simply click on the links below.

1. Columbus goes to the guillotine
4. big lies

If you would like to check out any of my Classic Era episode reviews or see how I rank them in order,THello, all can be accessed here.. And if you're related to Robert Foxworth and want to boost his morale after this attack on the press, you canVote for Grand Deceptions in the Fan Favorite Episode Poll here. Hardly anyone has done this before...

Now it is your turn. Am I being unfair to what you think is a hidden gem?DoveUniverse? Or are you just as disappointed in this vanilla offering as I am? All (guided) opinions are welcome.

And so we've moved on to the ninth season of Columbo, which I'll move onto in a momentMurder, a self-portrait. Togethervillain Linkat least as a grumpy, murderous, polyamorous European artistsonsquite promising. Can you deliver? Fingers crossed…

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